Catching Up

Lets start at birth (I know it seems like overkill, but stick with me!)

It was a Saturday morning in 1988. My sister was headed to a birthday party and my mother was on the phone with my grandmother.  My grandmother asks my mom when she thought I would be born and my mom casually replied, "today." My grandmother laughed it off and they said their goodbyes.

My dad had finished doing my sister's hair (he could do a few basic hair styles) and, as my mom walks out the garage to wait for my sister's ride, her water broke! My dad goes into a slight panic to get everything ready for the hospital my mom does the only rational thing-- a load of laundry. 

After the laundry was done, they family got in the car and peeled out of the driveway just as my sister's ride for the party came down the block. By this time, my sister, who could not have been more than 4 years old, was very confused and scared as my mother is screaming, dad is driving crazy, and her birthday party plans were completely forgotten.

So as they sped down the road towards the hospital, they get pulled over. Dad explains the situation, next thing you know police escort across town! By this time they notice a little head coming out…as in me…my mom always adds in the fact that "If it wasn't for that free pair of Victoria Secret panties they sent in the mail, you would came out in the car!" Well they did save me from being born in the car, however, I only made it to the hospital entrance. Oh, I forgot to mention that it was also my parents 5th anniversary...Story sound fake? Probably, but it is the truth. I know because I have ALWAYS been reminded of it.

I tell this story somewhat often, and people always tell me how awesome of a story it is and how lucky I am to be able to have such a cool entrance into this world, but it had the opposite affect. I was a very shy child. People would look at me and I just wanted to melt or disappear. Even when everyone would look at me while singing happy birthday, I hated the feeling.

In my family, stories get embellished and run into the ground; this story was no different. It became a tradition to tell this story at my birthday dinners, each year with a comment like "…and we haven't had a real anniversary since!" from my dad. Haha, funny, right?!  Wrong! To me that comment translated into my adolescent mind as "…and you've been an inconvenience to me since you were born!"

As I grew up, some of my shyness went away and I planned to have a huge 7th birthday bash with laser tag, basketball, arcade games, and go carts! It was my time have my special day and I actually looked forward to the attention and fun.  I was so excited to hand out invitations that Monday at school, I even wrote about it in my journal!  I skipped and hummed around the classroom all morning, and it continued after lunch.

It was big deal for me, I had turned over a new leaf! I was ready to be the center of attention, but unfortunately, that party never happened.

Just as soon as I had finished writing in my journal, my dad walks into my classroom almost 2 hours early. I was so excited that ignored the less than excited look on his face and the flat out sad look my teacher had as she dismissed me to pack up for the day. Never mind that, I was at least happy to get out early so I skipped down the sidewalk next to my dad, but I could no longer ignore how strange this all was as I noticed one of the older church ladies in the car. So I look up my daddy and ask, "Why am getting out early Daddy? Is it for my birthday?" He then got down on one of his knees to look me in the eyes to tell me my grandmother had passed away and that there would be no party because we had to go to St. Louis for the week.

My parents did all they could to still celebrate in St. Louis but I obviously wasn't in the mood. They even took me to Toy's R Us and said to get anything I wanted, but my mom was almost in tears as I came back empty handed. A last minute party was thrown in St. Louis before the funeral. It was actually the last birthday party I've ever had.  We would do a family dinners, but I was just in it for the money and gifts. A very impersonal way to look at the day you became relevant. Perhaps in my mind, I wasn't relevant. After all, it isn't really just my day, and they story of me stealing an anniversary and being the reason my sister missed a birthday party always coming back up with the memories of loved ones lost…the day really never seems worth celebrating.

However, I do enjoy making other people's birthdays a big deal. My thought is that I would hate for someone else to feel down on their birthday, because I typically am and wouldn't want anyone else to feel that way. I'm too jaded to enjoy my born day, but I will do whatever it takes to make sure other people have great birthdays.

…ok depressing, I promise not all will be so depressing, but many of them will be…my life tends to be a series of unfortunate events…interesting events, but unfortunate none-the-less…

I will say this...because I didn't have parties I got more high priced items...the only 8 year with gold rings and high schooler with diamonds in hear ear